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  • Writer's pictureKailee Place, LPC

I'd like you to meet someone... her name is Self-Esteem; PART 4

You wake up in the morning at your usual 6:15AM to get ready for work. You bitch for a moment at the alarm clock ("die, alarm clock, die!"), but pop up a minute or two later to jump in the shower. You think through a few tasks you need to get done during your day at work and make a mental note to text your friend to ask about Happy Hour later.

After getting ready in the morning, grabbing something to eat and making some coffee, you make your way into work. This is a job you've worked hard towards and enjoy immensely. You feel like you're a team member and have a lot to offer your team. Often, you speak up in meetings, providing input and presenting clearly how your ideas are helpful. Sometimes your ideas take off, and sometimes they don't. Oh well. Win some, lose some. That's okay.

At some point in the afternoon, you reach out to a friend to see if she can grab a drink with you after work and you cement plans! Yessss.... a well deserved glass of wine and some unwinding with a friend. You know she's been having some difficulties in her relationship, so you figure that will come up.

5:00PM. "Deuces, I'm out!" FREEEDDOOOMMM! You meet with your friend, order a glass of wine, and as you predicted, she begins talking about her relationship. She's having a hard time with her partner disrespecting her.

You tell her... "Remember when I was dating that one complete douche a few years ago? He would try to make me feel bad about myself when we'd get into disagreements and he never responded to me trying to communicate with him about how he had hurt my feelings. He never wanted to try and meet my needs, and I'd had enough. I deserved better and knew that my point of view was a valid one. So I got rid of him. You realize you're someone of value, right? Kick this person to the curb!" She nods and says she agrees, but who knows what'll happen. At this point, the ball is in her court and you'll remain supportive, but not overstep your bounds.

You go home, change into some comfy clothes, pick up around the house for 15-20 minutes (cleaning blows, but blasting some 90's music helps ease the crappiness and you know getting rid of the clutter will make you feel better...) and you reflect on your evening. You think a bit on how you may have been harsh with your friend. You have a tendency to be overly honest, though your intention is a noble one. You make a note of how this brashness has gotten you in trouble before in relationships, so it's something worth discussing with your therapist tomorrow. Not your favorite quality about yourself, but it's there, so let's do something about it.

You go to bed, cursing your alarm clock again the next morning, but face the day with calmness and contentment.

This is the day in the life of a woman with healthy self-esteem. She takes care of herself, she takes things in stride without bashing herself, she makes time for her relationships, she prioritizes herself in romantic relationships seeing her worth and what she deserves, and she's even pointed out a quality in herself that may be uncomfortable to face, but she's willing to do it. She sees her worth. She sees her place in this world as one of importance and that she has something to offer. She has her shitty days, don't get me wrong, but they are just that. Shitty days. They don't make her a shitty person.

You are someone of worth and value and importance as well. If you struggle to believe that... give me a call. Or if you're outside of South Carolina, research the therapists near you.

You deserve to feel that you are deserving.

Until next time,


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