Let me paint a picture for you:
A woman, age 31, has a career she worked hard to achieve, which included either a good chunk of education or a lot of training, or a mixture of both. She does well at work, even goes above and beyond her job description, often being given greater responsibilities than her counterparts. This feels good, productive, validating. She is close with her family members, making time for them often throughout the week. She has a partner in her life that she dotes upon and loves the crap out of. This feels good, loving, fulfilling.
Sounds pretty lovely, right? Here are some other aspects of this picture that sometimes she sees, but most of the time she doesn't:
She's burned the eff out. If she does not meet a deadline at work, she feels defeated and like a failure. She doesn't actually spend time on herself, but the people around her get a whole lot of her time. That relationship? It's very demanding and at the end of the day, she often feels exhausted by the minefield of keeping her partner happy.
Okay so what gives? Why does such a pretty picture have so much crap mixed in? Her self-esteem isn't at a great spot. Period. She sees her value solely through her accomplishments and what she can provide for others versus seeing her value as a person on her own. If she can produce something (projects at work, loaning money to family, keeping the house clean constantly for her partner, etc.) then she's worth something. But her presence as the kind, considerate, funny, ambitious, quirky, opinionated individual she is... that's not enough. She doesn't see that as enough.
That's the picture of a compromised self-esteem.
But that doesn't have to be the end of the story. If this picture resonates with you, seek out some therapy or self-discovery support/resources. You are meant to be here on this planet and the space you take up is valuable.
You are a badass and wouldn't it feel so nice to feel that, breathe it in, and walk through your days feeling amazing? It's possible. Reach out and get started!
:: Keep coming back to my page for a continued series on self-esteem. What is it? What can you do about it? I'll be back here to continue this series giving you some more information and helpful tools. Come back soon! ::
Until next time,
Kailee